Between veils and cigars

· 24 July, 2014 · 7:11 am

The word «gender» refers to a series of different characteristics, values, attitudes and behavior, which have been ascribed to men and women in our society throughout history. Their alleged roles are reflected in all fields of daily life and also, what is of our interest here, in weddings.

This sexual division is already visible in all that precedes the big day. We can see it in the traditional engagement dinners, solidifying the family’s approval of the marriage. These celebrations were held at the house of the bride and one of the objectives was the exchange of well-defined gifts according to the sex: a watch for the future husband and a classical engagement ring for the future wife. Despite of the fact that these formalities are not common anymore, there are still remains of this classical role division in today’s celebrations. For example, everyone expects that the guy will propose to his lady, a consequence of the pattern of romantic love according to which the man always takes the initiative to bring the woman flowers, bonbons or pearls, while she is waiting passively.

Also the bachelor parties are all about clichés which are generally related to sexuality. The group of friends of the girl who is about to get married –dressed with playboy bunny ears– make her wear a plastic penis on the head, while her partner is equipped with plastic tits. And, of course, a stripper has to be hired for both of them to turn the night into an unforgettable experience. Have we ever thought of what is behind these habits? It is obvious that the main goal is to have fun, but are we not cultivating sexism with this behavior, apart from vulgarity.

Actually, although the couple is, or think they are, the most modern people in the world, there are still elements of the celebration which transmit another image. For example, the custom that the bride is accompanied by her father or another masculine figure to the altar to be handed over to the groom. Or the act of throwing the bouquet to a group of single ladies who are dying to get it, hoping to be the next in finding the man of their dreams and get married. And although the white dress and the veil are not a proof of purity of the woman anymore, why does society requires her to be perfect and to lose weight from the moment she got engaged? And what to say about the wedding gifts for the guests? Fans, soap, colognes or sandals for the females and cigars, liquor and car air fresheners for the men… What happens here? Perhaps women do not drink or drive and men do not wash themselves?

In general, people think that weddings are all about the bride. Therefore, at the most, the groom is in charge of the DJ or the car. Nevertheless, a wedding is a thing of both and within our philosophy we will always intend to imply the couple in the planning of their special day and treat the bride and groom like equals.